the biz rambles

the first night.

the biz — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 05:50:21 +0000

Tonight begins the process of kicking all dogs out of my bed. Here is their journey:

Indigo trying out her new bed & pillow.

Midi getting comfy in her chair.

Indigo trying out a new spot on her bed.

Indigo deciding she wants to stare me down & whine.

Indigo sneaking up on the bed. (she promptly got the boot!)

And, to update…the dogs stayed put ALL NIGHT!!! At 6:45, we had the first sign of “um, yeah…gonna need some bed time.” I can completely deal with that.

This was what Indigo’s bed sleep looks like (and why she is now sleeping on the floor):

And, here’s Midi…chillin’ in her usual spot:

Some days.

the biz — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 20:33:42 +0000

Some days are just harder than others. They can start out great, but then something happens…and, well, you know. We all have those days. Why is it so easy to let Satan steal our joy? Because, let’s be honest, we LET him. It’s our choice to continuously be joyful in the Lord. And not only is it our choice, we are commanded to do so. It is frustrating to me that I am so quickly turned against joy and turned to fear, anger, mistrust, self-doubt, worthlessness…the list goes on and on. It is so easy to focus on the negative and so hard to focus on the positive.

The fault is my own. Regardless of the situation, the circumstances that caused my day to turn so abruptly…when it comes down to it, I make the choice to respond in the manner in which I do. And today, I chose to respond poorly. I gave in to self-pity and self-doubt. ”Woe is me” seemed like an easier route to take. And Satan said, “You are right.” That’s all he had to say. I was already on board with the pity party.

I’m frustrated because I know better. I’m frustrated because I’ve gone through enough crap in life to understand that crap happens in life and things don’t always work out the way I want them to. Most of the time, it’s usually for my good, anyway, and I come out on the other side a better, stronger, more loving, generous and gracious person. God has never failed me and I know He won’t fail me in today. So, I am finding humility in accepting that I failed and admitting I need God’s grace more than ever right now. And, to be honest, I need His grace more than ever in this season of life. It hasn’t been easy and I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. I know it’s there, but I’m pretty stuck in the muck of the cave at this point.

“O most blessed Grace, that makes the poor in spirit rich in virtues, and makes the wealthy humble of heart! Come, descend upon me, fill me with your comfort, lest my soul faint from weariness and dryness of mind. I beseech You, O Lord, that I may find grace in your sight (Gn 18:3), for your grace is sufficient for me (2 Co 12:9) even if I never obtain anything which my nature desires. If I am tempted and tried I will fear no evil as long as Your grace is with me. Your grace is my strength, my counsel and my help. She is more powerful than all my enemies and wiser than all the wise. She is the mistress of truth, the teacher of discipline: the light of the heart, the comforter in affliction. She banishes sorrow, expels fears, nurses devotion, produces tears of repentance. What am I without her but a piece of dry timber or a withered stump, fit for nothing but to be cast into the fire (Jn 15:6).

Grant therefore, O Lord, that Your grace will always go before me and follow men, keeping me ever intent upon good works, through Jesus Christ Your Son. Amen.” ~ Thomas a Kempis, (Imitation of Christ, Book II, Chapter 55)

i can’t get it out of my head.

the biz — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 04:24:06 +0000

this is what i’ve been listening to as of late. nothing exceptionally new, but incredibly exceptional.

Selling my iPhone 3GS, 32GB

the biz — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 15:28:40 +0000

If you are looking for a great phone, I’m selling mine on eBay. Has 1 more day at auction, so check it out if you are interested:

i can’t decide!

the biz — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 17:32:19 +0000

So, I can’t figure out what to do. My service is not good with AT&T and the new operating system isn’t playing very nicely with my iPhone 3GS. I’ve done tons of research on switching companies and going with a different phone, but I keep coming back to the fact that I’m a Mac girl. Everything I do is synced between my Macbook Pro and iPhone. I’d love to explore the whole Droid thing, but that would mean that my Mobile Me stuff becomes somewhat obsolete. I could pursue the whole Google calendar merge, but I LOVE the ease of syncing my Mobile Me calendars, contacts, EVERYTHING, without having to think about it.

So, what to do?

Does the iPhone 4 really improve reception? Will it help with my gigantic frustration with AT&T, at least somewhat? Right now, I spend most of my time on the Edge network, so I wonder what is the point of having 3G if it hardly gets used?!

I love the iPhone. I’ve spent a ton of money on Apps. I would really hate to get rid of it. So, I need some advice, input from those of you who have the iPhone 4. Is it really worth it? And, don’t gloss it over because it has some cool features…I know. I want to know about service. So, hit me with it!

love.

the biz — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 17:56:41 +0000

Forgive me. This post might be slightly gushy and romantic and all of that stuff that, in the past, I would have been like, “oh, seriously. get a room.” But, I just have to take a quick moment and reflect on the past year. Crazy. A year. Andy and I have been dating a year and it feels like just yesterday that we started spending time together…and it feels like a lifetime that we’ve known each other. Ah, love. It’s such an amazing thing.

And, it is the most challenging and frustrating thing!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever been a completely selfish person (I have my moments, trust me), but being in a relationship really challenges you to BE better…not just SAY you are going to be better. There are so many times that I don’t want to dig deeper or try harder, but the thought of what it would mean for our relationship and future makes me do just that. Or, if I’m really stubborn (and, that’s not often at all…haha), I get called out on the carpet. And, really. That’s just no fun. But, it’s necessary.

I can’t even begin to put into words what my life has been like this past year. So many things have happened, so many changes have been made. But, through it all, I have had the most incredible, most amazing man by my side. I can’t wait to jump into this NEXT year with him! Yippeee for love!

hot bike rides

the biz — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:38:18 +0000

Today is supposedly the hottest day of the year and yet I feel the call of the bike. That said, I may only feel that call for 3 or 4 miles! Hopefully, I can get 10 in before the sweaty mess overtakes me. I’m going to ride on one of my favorite paths, which is wooded. I think it’s probably the smart thing to do! It’s not very hilly, which is a bummer, so I won’t get a super intense workout in, but I figure if I can GET a ride in and survive 100 degree temps, I’m doing well! I’m still not conditioned for this heat on my bike. Perhaps one day, but not right now. Sigh. If only I had a road bike. But, that’s for a later time when I’ve proven several things to myself.

So, in about an hour, I will be heading out and heating up. Hopefully there will be more posting from me! :O)

a little vaca. a lotta heat.

the biz — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:41:47 +0000

How is it possible that Maryland was hotter and more disgusting than Tennessee? Who knows, but it was. My parents ALSO don’t have air conditioning in their house (never have…seriously?!), so the whole weekend was one big sweaty fest of family fun. Thank goodness they have window units for the bedrooms or we would have probably died. Literally. It was THAT hot and humid. But, we survived and had a blast. Andy even shelled and ate his first crabs. The jury is still out on whether he actually liked them, but he said he would try them again next year and see. Ha.

I forgot to take pictures, probably because it was so hot…my brain was melting. I did snap a few on our walk by the Bay. I also took one of Bella before she escaped from the back porch and jumped in the coy pond. Yikes. She was hot too, so I can’t really blame her. No fish were harmed in her escape, though.

maryland, here we come!

the biz — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 18:46:30 +0000

In a few short hours, we will be on the very long road to Maryland. We = me, Andy, Midi, Indigo & Bella. 2 humans and 3 dogs (and luggage) strategically placed in the ol’ Honda Element. I wish there was room for the bikes, but that would be a little over the top. If I had a bike rack, life would be super duper. But, that’s not happening anytime soon. I’m really looking forward to a few days with my family and friends! It’s been quite a while since I’ve been there!!! Crazy how time flies by. And, I’m REALLY looking forward to eating some Maryland crabs…yum. What I’m NOT looking forward to is the impending 12 hour overnight drive. I love driving at night because there is less traffic, but the older I get, the less I like to road trip for that long of a time. It is always nice having someone to road trip with, especially my favorite person in the world, but it will still be a bugger of a trip! Oh well, the end will be worth it! So, catch ya on the East side. I will post some pics from our great mid-Atlantic adventures, I’m sure!

follow-up to camping

the biz — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 20:23:02 +0000

So, I went camping. It lasted a little over 24 hours before I got completely rained on and rained out. Normally the rain wouldn’t bug me, but having Indigo with me and sleeping in my Element made it a bit challenging in the sense that I would have to spend most of the evening and night with a wet, muddy large dog sleeping (ie, snuggling) next to me. And, to top it off, my food and firewood got rained on. I was preparing my food and fire and the sky opened up it’s rainy goodness upon my head. Oh well. The 24 hours I had were good.

Like I mentioned in my previous post, I didn’t expect to have a gigantic revelation. And I didn’t, not really. I did, however, come to realize that I have really diluted or polluted (take your pick) God’s calling on my life. It’s like I knew what that was at one point, yet it’s just a shadow of something now. I am glad that I am finally starting to realize that and, at the same time, I’m a bit disconcerted by that. I have always prided myself on being able to go where I thought God was leading. Guess that was my problem. PRIDE.

So, here I am. Beginning to peel back the layers that have piled themselves on…or that I’ve managed to pile on. And, I am still no closer to knowing what to do regarding my whole financial situation. I do, however, have some thoughts and feelings about it all now. And I think they are starting to streamline a bit. In my world, that means movement and decision. The hard part is actually MAKING the move and decision. Following through and not just continuing to think about it over and over.

Have you ever had that feeling that you knew you needed to act on something but just didn’t know how or didn’t necessarily want to because it would impact others beyond just yourself? That’s where I am now. No matter what steps I take, I am impacting a larger circle than just my own. That’s hard for me. But, I know I need to take steps to be responsible and take care of myself. Vague, I know. Sorry.

So, not really anything new to report at this point. Andy and I are going to my parents house this weekend for my family reunion and I am really looking forward to getting away for a few days and gaining some perspective on life. Plus, spending 12 hours in the car with him and three dogs will definitely take my mind off anything else going on in my world. :O)

More to follow, I’m sure…